Because Life's Too Short To Drink Cheap Beer


Run #735   Li'l Sister & Wee Li'l Bit    Sam's Club, Clairmont @ I-85  3/31/01



We Who Were Abducted:  Afterbirth Rat's Ass Slim Jim 18 Squealer Primer Fagpipes John Queere I Know That Trick Dr. Doo Doo Twat Com Little Pussy Barf Bag    Square Meat  Betty Cocker Furry Balls Slippery When Wet Spermier Drew Marlar (3x) Beth Murphy (3x) Siouxsie Palm Palm    Cheetah Who's My Mama    Linsey Varnell (1x) Sleazy Rider Crash Potato Rub My Cheese PV Semen Cheese Infection Coffee Bean Spread Eagle Tastes Great Tail Gunner



A motley crew of 33 showed up for this live trail too bad the bimbos didn't.  (Thank you Primer and 18 Squealer for volunteering, and not wrecking my truck.)  Sam's Club has been the start of many o'hash in the past, so I figured these two would be easily snared.  There I go thinking again.


Though billed as “The Li'l Hash”, it quickly became clear that our hares weren't referring to the length of the trail (oh, if only MC had been there so we could have heard some professional  whining).  The hares took off with the usual 5 minute head start, and immediately split up couldn't see where Wee Li'l Bit went, but Li'l Sister waved at us as he ran north on Clairmont.


Finally, after 4 minutes 50 seconds (that's right, we cheated), the pack took off only to find a check at the entrance to the parking lot.  Now, we all saw Li'l Sister go to the right, so did we check it real good?  Of course not someone who shall remain nameless (‘cause I don't know who it was, but if I ever find out ) checked about 100 yards up the road and came back.  The rest of the pack wandered around the creek and the access road by I-85.  We found two marks going under I-85, but that was it.  Finally, a car stopped on the on-ramp and this elderly couple told Spermier they saw a guy throwing flour up Clairmont.  I was headed that way anyway, ‘cause we just plum ran out of directions to check, and sure enough, there it was.  Go figure.


A quick left brought us through some apartments, and lo and behold, powerlines.  And more powerlines.  Then a creek crossing (oh no!  don't get those new shoes wet Twat Com!), and into the woods briefly.  Then more powerlines.  Are we glowing yet?  I guess I shouldn't be complaining ‘cause after that it was mostly roads.


We crossed under I-85 at the access road (where are Short Stump and On the Rag when you need ‘em I told you this could've been an easy snare), and up behind the BellSouth building.  And I do mean up.  That was one beast of a hill, which we promptly came right down again, past the yummy smelling bakery and into the office park off N. Druid Hills Road.  A check in the office park seemed to slow everyone down, but I took a lucky guess and headed straight for NDH Road.  There I found an on-over, and then recklessly dodged cars to the other side while the light was still green.  Any advantage I could get to stay ahead of Cheetah.


So, I'm toodling along in Executive Park when I run into Furry Balls who had somehow gotten way ahead, but had run afoul at the next check.  Of course, by this time, the whole pack is right back with us, and the rest of the trail became just a big blur the blur of Cheetah blowing right by me.  “Oh, I'm in terrible shape,” he lamented. “I haven't run since the last PineLake hash I was at, which was months ago.”  Shyeah, I just wish my best day of running was like your worst.


Anyway, we run and run and run ‘til we reach Cheshire Bridge Road.  I, of course, wanting to get off-road, check across the street in the sewer upgrade construction to no avail.  True trail goes towards Buford Highway, then up Buford and into an office park where we are finally greeted with a much needed BN.


Walkers were nowhere to be seen, so we started Down-Downs without them:  Cheetah started us off with a demonstration DD for being way-too-long-between; virgin Linsey Varnell and Who's My Mama, who made her come;  other too-longs included Slim Jim, Barf Bag, Tail Gunner, Siouxsie, and 3rd-timer Beth Murphy;

Betty Cocker's leaving for Ohio;  Furry Balls falsely accused someone;  Spermier got a new job; Little Pussy was visiting from Texas;  Primer and 18 Squealer for being bimbos; Twat Com for new shoes (at least we didn't “teabag”);  and the hares.


Scribe:            Rat's Ass




                                        Ratman Returns