Run #639   April 24, 1999

Hares: All My Cousins/Coffee Bean
 
 

Venue: Buckhead Court Shopping Center/Roswell Road

Hounds: Sleazy Rider, Toys For Twats, Rat's Ass, Skippy Dick, Placenta, Lil Sister, Little Pussy, Hand Tossed, Whine
Ho, Cheetah, Afterbirth, Douche Bag, Erection Overruled, Tailgunner, Pull My String, Testiclees, Kaptain Krash, Check My
Bag, Try Me Buy Me, Slippery When Wet, Double Pecker, Wilma, Little Willie, Rock Hudson, Stupid Is As Stupid Does,
Niplets, Dog Shit, Redneck Mutha, Barf Bag, Goldilocks, Bullshit, Little Easy (New Orleans), Screw The Pooch, Penny
Underwood (x5 -- now Penny For Your Twats), Dennis Shaya x1, Thad Matzke (?) x1, Tom Fransen x1, Bill Carlton x1,
Norbert Horty(?) x2?

The weather forecast was the usual accurate one for the Atlanta area: highs in the mid 70's and rain. What we
had was the hottest day so far of the year as the mercury was topping out at 87 with a blazing sun. Hounds were in for a
sweltering hash this day as hare du jour All My Cousins made her Pinelake H3 day-boo with trusty (?) veteran co-hare
Coffee Bean.

The starting point suggested that nearby Chastain Park would be included in the lay and this proved to be the case. Before
we hit the woods, however, the hounds were dragging tail on what seemed to be never ending uphills on the surrounding
roads.

Actually, the hash was a short one, with most hounds on-in in less than an hour (but who's keeping track of the
time?). Given the heat and the fact that no one complained about the length, it was probably just right. Many mentioned the
time it took to complete the hash, but not in anger.

On a personal note, this hash was a special one for me, as it marked the first time my brother (Placenta) actually went to a
hash which didn't end at his pool in Alpharetta. (Which reminds me: sorta near WOODSTOCK ga '99 will
be August 14 -- hint hint plug plug) Amazingly, in tow was his better two-thirds, Penny, who only narrowly escaped
being named last August with Placenta. Her luck would not hold out on this day.

Anyway, back to the trail. While running along the side of the golf course, Placenta and I noted that some things never
change. We used to run the same damn hill in high school when training for the track team. The only difference was the
paved path for walkers and bikes (and hashers, too).

After locating a water stop near the wooded portion of the park, the trail began to resemble a typical PH3 hash as we got out
of the sun and under the shade of the trees.

An amazing thing happened after the water stop. I was running with virgin Bill Carlton (I think) as we ran some more uphill
and then cut left towards a dead end street. We could see the trail go into the woods at the end of the cul de sac, but just as
we were about to leave the street, an elderly woman drove up next us as she entered her driveway and said, "Follow me.
I’ll show you the easy way to get to the park."

A homeowner actually giving a short cut to some hounds who were basically trespassing? Unbelievable! Of course we ran up
behind her and as she parked in her carport, she got out and pointed to the woods where a path would take us to the park!
We both thanked her and proceeded to hash on. Thanks, lady!

We looped through the park and came around the amphitheater (next to the parking lot where I learned, way back when, to
drive a car). After this trip through mammary lane, we ended at picnic area and proceeded to consume the fine beer for
which PH3 is justly famous.

The down-downs were fairly amusing, as Rule 6 was being broken by just about everyone. We had a bunch of first timers
(see the list of hounds above), but Wilma just had to complain that PH3's virgins were all guys, whereas AH4 was
getting all these fresh babes. We looked at the virgins, looked at Wilma, looked at the virgins again, and decided that
(comparatively speaking) Wilma had nothing to complain about.

Rock Hudson and Dog Shit drank after being designated PH3 Disciplinarians, this coming after rude comments about
Slippery When Wet and new Joint Master Niplet's lack of crowd control. Someone even provided a couple bags of ice
for the whiners to park it on as they drank.

Too longs included both Penny and Placenta (for some reason, I had to drink a D-D with these two: I guess to remind
them how it's done or something), as well as Try Me Buy Me and unnamed Norbert. Screw The Pooch started late and
was DFL, but what else is new? We gave Skippy Dick, Lil Sister and Little Easy visitor down-downs, along with Barf Bag and
Goldilocks, but I think this was just an excuse to get rid of some of the excess down-down beer.

Scribe: Afterbirth