Run #632: March 6, 1999

Hare: Rock Hudson

Venue: Grayson Elementary School

Hounds: Ultra Pasteurized, Innernuts, Dog Shit, Afterbirth, Double Pecker, Service My Tool, All My Cousins, Beernuts, Poker In The Rear, Liquor In The Front, Lost Cause, Cum By Ya, Miss Deed, Sleazy Rider, Tailgunner, Niplets, Shiggy Pitts, Goldilocks, Bullshit, Spread Eagle, Bill Bachrodt x3, Cynthia Sheffield x2

"Welcome To Snellville, Where Everybody Is Somebody"

Hare du jour Rock Hudson had the PH3 fateful -- faithful -- doing a bit more traveling than usual, but the promise of new terrain was enough of a lure to entice the die-hards to come out and die hard. The directions to the start mentioned the above-quoted sign we would see as we neared the actual start, but what we didn't see was the sign in the next town, which probably read something like "Welcome To Grayson, Where Everyone Will Be Cut To Pieces By Insane Amounts Of Briars".

We also didn't see the signs indicating the new high price of flour, but I guess that was fair enough, because we didn't see too much of it on trail, either. It's hard to bitch too much about the lay, because everyone got to the end OK (except for two, but I'm getting ahead of the story).

Actually, the trail was real good. Sure, blood was let, but the trail can't be worth much if it doesn't leave a few new holes in the hounds. The weather for the day was great, especially considering how wet it was in the morning. But the sun did shine and we were glad. As far as where we went -- who in the hell knows? Not me, that's for sure!

However, the woods were much more plentiful than the few new subdivisions we ran through, although the only time we got hassled by the natives was when the trail crossed private property (plainly marked everywhere) and the irate owner came blasting along on his three-wheeled ATV (a tricycle for big kids) to inform us that we weren't supposed to be there. He didn't make it a capital case, thankfully, as Sleazy Rider, Cum By Ya and others apologized and kept on hashing.

The plentiful briars were supplemented by the more resilient (and rusty) barbed wire. I'm not sure that I've ever had to step over quite so many fences, but then again, we were on somebody's property most of the time. I think it was Double Pecker who cut himself on the ankle during a fateful misstep. Shiggy Pitts also was sporting some "good ones", too. Mostly, the bleeding was from the plant life.

The final 100 yards or so of the trail (after the BN) lead the hounds into a creekbed (there were too many briars on the side of the creek, I guess), so anyone who had successfully avoided wet shoes until then was SOL.

As I stated before, everyone got on-in OK except for two. Second timer Cynthia (she didn't wear a nice sweater this time, unlike her virgin run a few weeks before) was waaaaaay back from the rest of the pack, and given the scarcity of flour, was going to have a real hard time finding the end.

Lucky for her, Spread Eagle was feeling sort of ill and didn't mind the pace at the rear of the pack. The veteran hasher and the rookie came on-in just before the first load of hounds left to return to the start, so the DFL down-downs and Cynthia∓mp;rsquo;s birthday D-D capped the day's festivities.

Speaking of down-downs, the Rule 6 violations were pretty lame, but I had opened a few too many of the down-down beers, and we had to come up with something to justify their use.

The Too Longs included Shiggy Pitts and Miss Deed. After that, we had to be like Ken Starr. You know, we'll charge somebody with something! The duo of Beernuts and Internuts did the Nuts To You down-down while third timer Bill was toasted for wearing old shoes this week.

Liquor In The Front had some memory problem at the start with her complete hash name. Seems she doesn't like the "In The Front" part and neglected to tell me her whole name. Down-down. Cum By Ya had "inspired" David to start hashing or something equally lame. Down-down.

Tailgunner and his bag of small electronic devices (such as a cell phone and heart rate monitor) earned the accusation of Yuppie Hashing. Down-down. Niplets misnamed a hound and there was something about being "unavailable". Down-down and down-down.

Goldilocks sang everyone a cool hash song he picked up somewhere and was rewarded with a beer and a song. Down-down.

Finally, we got to hare Rock Hudson. For a bloody fine trail: down-down. On-out!

Scribe: Afterbirth