Pinelake Hash House Harriers
"Because Life‘s Too Short To Drink Cheap Beer"
Run #617 – November 11, 1998
Hares: Kaptain Krash – Annual Marine Corp Birthday Hash
Venue: Harmony Grove Park in Lilburn
Hounds: Cheaper Than Trick, MC Hasher (bimbo), Whiner (bimbo), Afterbirth, Swallow My Load (visitor-Valdosta), Yoron Weed (visitor-Pensacola), Slippery When Wet, Check My Bag, Beach Cummer, Dog Shit, Luis Aguilar x4, Geezer Pleaser, Dirty Limerick, Dr. Doo Doo, Rat’s Ass, Das Booty, Niplets, Short Stump, Chews To Cum, Cheetah, O.J., Pull My String, Below The Waist, David Schmidt (x5-now Swamp Wear), Patrick Pepin (x5-now Internuts), Mark Perry (X1 PH3), Tom Walker (x1), Jonathan Wilson (x1)
PH3 IN MARINE CORPS HASHSHIT!
The annual Marine Corps Birthday Hash featured cake at the ending this year, but instead of blowing out candles, the hounds were instead given a trail that blew! In a stunning reversal of last year’s stunting death-crawl through an interminable tunnel, the few, the proud, the half-minded hounds were instead dunked into a creek for miles and miles. The few steps of dry land mainly featured railroad tracks, impassable briars or irate homeowners and bubbas in pickups. Live solo hare Kaptain Krash fell prey to wrong turns in briars attempting to get back in or out of the featured creek…the result being an often times meandering trail which rarely took advantage of trails and woods bordering the lay. In other words, this one wasn’t the Kaptain’s best, by a long shot.
VIRGINS AND VISITORS, PLEASE COME BACK!
Among the unlucky hounds were five virgins or visitors to Pinelake. After the two hours plus on trail (or in the trail), we can only guess at the degree to which they question our sanity. Most seemed to be taking the day’s events in stride, but Valdosta visitor Swallow My Load, the day’s DFL (at nearly three hours), and Pensacola visitor Yoron Weed seemed relieved to note the disaffection for the trail from the PH3 regulars. Many assured the tired hounds that we had not completed a typical Krash hash.
FLU SEASON BACK AT PINELAKE!
Last reports indicate that hounds Das Booty and virgin Jonathan Wilson were decidedly worse for the wear after their extended plunge into the waters of Camp Creek.
BLOODIEST HASH SINCE THE PREVIOUS WEEK!
All we could say way a sympathetic "ouch" to the walking wounded as they limped and leaked on-in to the ending. Dr. Doo Doo took a bad spill on the railroad tracks not 100 yards from the ending and banged both knees horribly. A few of us stood watch for trains as he waited for the pain to subside from his stretched out position on the tracks. Others were merely cut to ribbons from the ill-advised jaunts into the briars. I believe Short Stump and Yoron Weed had the most brilliant new incisions and were honored by Kaptain as the two bloodiest.
TACKY GIVEAWAY WAS ACTUALLY USEFUL!
Contrary to what the hare told us, the "tacky giveaway", another Marine Corps Birthday Hash tradition, was particularly useful on this trail. The pocketknife was small enough to carry on trail, but big enough to cut one loose from the briars! It probably was too small to do anything about the irate homeowner complaining to the hounds about trespassing through his back yard, however. The bubba in the pickup asking Slippery When Wet and other female hounds about being "safe" all alone in the woods may have found the blade long enough to insure their safety had he continued to give them cause for concern.
HOUNDS NAME FIFTH TIMERS!
The tired hounds put all that was left in their half-minds to name two fifth timers. Patrick Pepin admitted to building a computer when he was a child and currently works for Half-A-Mindspring. Therefore, the hounds settled on Internuts as his hash name. David Schmidt, first seen in a toxic lake fishing out Slippery’s keys, went from the temporary "Swamp Thing" to Swamp Wear. I think he has something to do with clothing sales. Please address these hounds by their hash names from now on, especially in public where you’re most likely to get dirty looks from non-hashers!
LET THEM EAT CAKE (or drink beer)!
I believe the on-in was at the Royal Atlanta Business Park where Krash has his warehouse. Beer washed down the Marine Corps birthday cake so generously provided by our hare as the pack waited for the stragglers to limp in. Down-downs included too long MC Hasher, Whiner, O.J. and Das Booty. Virgins Tom Walker and Jonathan Wilson were toasted by the pack and Hare Kaptain Krash was roasted by the pack.
Pinelake Hash House Harriers
Grand Master Emeritus: Sky Pilot
Honorary Grand Master: Downunder
Joint Master: Afterbirth
and Mattress: Slippery When Wet
Hash Cash: Rat’s Ass
Hareline: Sleazy Rider
Haberdashery: Sneak-A-Peak and/or Soft Balls
Master Scribe: Rock Hudson
Upcoming Pinelake H3 runs for the remainder of 1998 and early 1999.
Run 619 November 21 – Little Willie/Sleazy Rider
Run 620 November 28 – Dead Root and/or Beavis
Run 621 December 5 – Hand Tossed
Run 622 December 12 – MC Hasher/Bite My Gonads
Run 623 December 19 – Bullshit’s annual Christmas Hash! (Joint hash with AH4)
Run 624 December 26 – AH4’s day after Christmas hash (PH3 runs with AH4)
Run 625 January 2, 1999-OPEN
Run 626 January 9-Sleazy Rider/Afterbirth
Run 617 January 16-OPEN
Calling all Hounds-who-wannabe-Hares! Sign up for your own hash! See Sleazy Rider at the hash or call her at 404-982-9269 for the open date which suits you best!
How about writing a hash trash? See Rock Hudson at the hash and demand that you get a shot at putting your unique perspective on paper!
OH YEAH…We’ve got lots of great stuff for sale through the haberdashery, so BUY! BUY! BUY!