October 11, 1997 2:30 pm (sharp)
Outback Steakhouse --- Roswell Road
Mold & Mildew:
Little Pussy Ä Jeff Sumner Ä Afterbirth Ä Sleazy Rider Ä Go Blow Ä Fergie Dick Ä Mall Shark Ä Show Uranus Ä Beavis Ä Love Byte Ä Kenny Durant Ä Viper Vixen Ä Byte Me Ä Cums Colloect Ä Mr. Twister Ä Ding Dong Ä Penis Flytrap Ä Sneak-A-Peak Ä Joanne Carey Ä Pull My String Ä Piet Kes Ä Wisecracker Ä Lost Cause Ä Jim Zwald Ä Back Seat Box Ä Minnie Brew Ä Yuppie Scum Ä Tort Tart Ä Lame Bahrain Ä Okie Pokie Chicken Chokie Ä Bullshit Ä Karen Raby Ä Milky Way Ä Tailgunner Ä Niplets Ä Redneck Mutha Ä Kaptain Krash Ä Dumbell Ä Wonderbra
Ratís Ass & SoftBalls
Apparently, we are leaving at 2:30 sharp these days. Apparently, everyone else got the hint. SO Redneck Mutha, Tailgunner, and scribe boy fled the scornful hares a good 6 minutes, 31 seconds after the pack, cursiní and hootiní and rustliní up trouble.
We found some ground wheat behind a department store, and followed along through the overgrowth until we were led down a steep ziggurat wall. After failing to immediately find flour on the parking lot below, I thought Iíd fallen for a classic Ratís Ass "up yours," and would have to climb back up the damn thing. Mercifully, Tailgunner started whistling, and we were off.
Cloudiness, haze: 3 weeks after the run is not the time to start writing the hash trash. What happened next? I guess I blacked out Ö so letís just say for this part of the trail, I went to the Bahamas.
We crossed into a park where there was some kind of picnic or fair going on, and we must have circled the staring masses three times before we found flour off a check going into a small, dense patch of woods behind a school or day-care center. Clumsily wacking our way along, we emptied out of the woods, across a busy street, and into the creek. We spotted some walkers up ahead on a bridge over the water, so we boxed out and went to the bridge. After a few minutes of cluelessly milling about, through the creek and down the road and so forth, we found flour cleverly leading through the flood plain detritus to a sandy sewer line R.O.W. in the woods. We were briefly back in the creek, then out and into the back of the pack.
We cruised through the rabble along a golf course, and followed flour down into a tunnel that went under the road we were just on Ö I knew as soon as we were wet again that the evil Rat and Softballs would send me back up to that road. It was at this point that I encountered my first movie quote. There was trivia to be answered at every check, and this one was "if you build it, they will come." Well, them baseball fields across the street looked like a good bet, and we saw Shoeless Joe mooning us across the street. Turns out it was just a French tourist, but we found flour anyway, and we cruised across nice, idyllic park grass for a while. I found flour heading away from a pavilion and into some scrubby woods, which led to a check which I was the first to read the clue at. I canít quite remember it, but "stairs" figured prominently, and what do you know, some big ass stairs right in front of me. I hauled ass up them and hit abacktrack. Pricks.
The really-quite-good-donít-get-me-wrong trail went the opposite direction and hit a check that the "clue" indicated should go "back to school ," namely, the one right in front of us. I sheepily followed trail around the back of the school, which of course just took us in a big circle and back up to the road in front of the school. Cranking down the road a piece, we found a big BN that made me weep. Over some construction mud, we were on -in up a hill. Wow what a good run. And the first run in a long time that wasnít hot as a Texas Whorehouse on payday.
Virgins: Kenny Durant, Jim Zwald
1st Time PH3: Jeff Sumner, Show Uranus, Joanne Carey, Piet Kes, Karen Raby
Too Long: Okie Pokie Chicken Chokie, Piet Kes
Not Long Enough: Yuppie Scum
Racists: Beavis, Penis Flytrap, Wonderbra
The Hares: Ratís Ass and SoftBalls