Pinelake H3 Run 544
Saturday, May 17th, 1997
McAffee Shopping Center, McAffee & Candler

Twisters:
 Dr. Doo Doo * Sleazy Rider * Virgin Master * Tastes Like Chicken * Viper Vixen * Siouxie *u Back Seat Box * Minnie Brew *Pull My String * Super Dooper Pooper Scooper * Fergie Dick *Soft Balls *French Made * Kaptain Krash * MC Hasher * Uh Huh Baby * Donna Chen*  Brown Hole * Down Under *Tired Dick * Armadildo * Afterbirth * Lame Bahrain * Rude Dog * Niplets * Tailgunner * Breast Stroke * Butt Nutt *Slippery When Wet * Sleaze Puppy * Keyboard Queen * Double Pecker * Put A Cock In It * CumztheUrge * Dick the Boy Wonder * Hired Snatch * Wet Dreams *Coffee Bean * Tastes Great * Short Stump * Mark Snyder

Trailer Park:
Whiner

After getting a tan in the left turn lane on Candler, we arrived to an impressively swollen crowd of 40 or so hashers. Manis (Boy Toy) resolutely went about the task of  lassoing ankles with her leash, dragging me around with her and forcing me to socialize. I stumbled into some friends of 5th timer Mark Snyder, who were there to offer consolation for the anticipated shitty naming (spookily clairvoyant), and who later bagged out on the hash altogether, using the oft-heard "Hangover" excuse. Snyder wasnít phased, and went on without them, and, in doing so, learned a little something: as bad as naming can be when there are folks around who have dirt on you, itís usually worse when no one has a clue about you. So anyway Whiner took off, we gave him five minutes, then proceeded to chase his ass down.

We immediately came out on a road and stayed firmly planted on it for a mile or more. Which was unorthodox for a live run, but hey, whatever. I guess I was just in a super mellow mood, or I probably would have thought the first ¼ and last ½ of the hash lacked a bit. We turned down another road, and passed our second frontyard barbecue, which had me drooling more than the pooch who was yanking me around. A check went right, and we were finally off the road and into the good stuff. Trail followed a grown-over access road for a spell, then crossed a creek a couple of times before dumping us back out to the road. We strained up a hill, passing tons of curious kids and one lady who couldnít stop laughing.

We finally hit a downhill spot that led through a park and into a great stream. The guy who owned the property we were trespassing on asked me what was going on, and when I told him he responded "Cool." Glad we werenít north of town. We battled up slippery granite shelves for a while until we met the FRBís under a small footbridge. Brown Hole had bagged hisself a Whiner, and we took off after 5 minutes on another search and destroy mission. It was later discovered that this part of trail was improv, Whiner had gotten lost in the creek, tripping and losing a few bags of flour. So there you have it.

This ended the trail for the most part, flour looped back on itself and ended at the home of a co-worker of Whinerís. The lady who had been laughing earlier ran out with drinks when we passed her place a second time, and Whiner was tagged by another FRB somewhere in there.

Down Downs:

Too Long: Tastes Like Chicken, Siouxsie
Racist: Back Seat Box
Overachieving Racist: Minnie Brew (who finished a race in 6th overall, 1st in her age group)
New Shoes: MC Hasher
For Just Being Himself: Tired Dick
For Picking up a Merit Badge: Afterbirth (helped push someoneís car on trail)
34th Birthday: Keyboard Queen
Speeding to the Hash: Tastes Great
Hare: Whiner
Snare: Brown Hole
5th Timer: Mark Snyder (now Rock Hudson, and ripe for renaming)

I just reread this, I really sound stoned, donít I?