Tearful Overweight Housewives:
Afterbirth Dr. Doo-Doo Fertilize-Her Skippy Dick Tooth Fairy Lip Service Kim Kaptain Krash Rich Tanksley Nancy Fina Corkscrew No Thrust John Woichet Bryan Schaffer Mark Snyder Coffee Bean Plumbers Crack Michelle Uick Patrick Mclaughlin Hygiene Uh-Huh Baby Wanda Logan 0&5 Jeff Cobb Ann Erickson Tiffany Blackwood Chuck Rooks Fergie Dick Back Seat Box Minnie Brew Keyboard Queen Sleaze Puppy Niplets Redeye Ramjet Sleazy Rider Slippery When Wet Michael Polydorff Lame Bahrain Whiner Foreign Lesion Rude Dog Tastes Great Wet Dreams Butt Nutt Breastroke
Richard Simmons: Ding-Dong
Virgins gathered expectantly at this, the 4th (or is it 6th, I cant remember, but this is a semantic matter in any case) anniversary of Ding-Dong as Hasher. I had become hopelessly lost at the Moonlight hash the Monday beforehand in this same neighborhood, and was determined to find beer in a less embarrassing amount of time this hash. Following a lengthy trail primer for our kinder-hashers, we were off.
Redeye, never one to shy away from an energy-saving opportunity, immediately planted himself lamprey-like onto the side of a Grant Park utility vehicle, which tried in vain to shake the parasite off. The deft maneuvering of the cart proved futile, and eventually Redeye had his fill, dropped off to the side, and let his unfortunate host limp away, depleted.
Trail Headed to the west side of Grant Park, then looped back to the east side of the park, allowing the slower runners to short cut across a big grass field. The pack was more or less together when it hit a check near Taco Mac, which had everyone stumped and running around like malarial gibbons until flour was picked up heading into a flavor-filled neighborhood. As we made our way down to a fenced-in park, I narrowly avoided a messy death as 0 & 5 flew chaotically through the pack with his stroller screaming "gravity assist!!!" That kids either going to get sponsored and race the NASCAR circuit or snap and become criminally insane. Or become a hasher.
Trail went around the fence and into a small park with a running track. A surprising number of (relatively) intelligent hashers took off down the track, but of course flour went straight across to the far side of the park without touching the track. We were led up across a grassy field, up a small hill, then downhill to the new Turner Field. Flour wound around the new ballpark, then hit a check at a busy intersection. True trail headed to the right, towards some other-odd stadium (they all blend together in my haze-filled world). A bunch of shortcutters enjoyed an opportunity at this point to cut off quite a bit of length by coming across a huge parking lot to meet the FRBs. We wound around the stadium, across a couple of streets and hit a check near a marble monument. Trail headed straight, and BN appeared magically ahead. A block more and we were on-in in Fertilize-Hers back yard. Some thought the trail was pretty short, but at the end of this up and down run everyone I was running with seemed pretty damn happy to see the coolers. Except Fergie Dick, who went home and bent steel bars for a couple of hours to compensate.
Virgins: Kim, Rich Tanksley, John Vwiuchet, Bryan Schaffer, Michelle
Vick, Jeff Cobb, Ann Erickson, Tiffany Blackwood
Car Hashing: Redeye
Engaged: Butt Nutt and Breaststroke
Visitors: Lip Service (Tidewater), Tooth Fairy (Tidewater), Plumbers Crack (???)
Switching Dogs Mid-Trail: Corkscrew
5th Timer: Chuck Rooks (now Penile Code)
After most folks left, it was fairly amusing to watch one of the virgin girls destroy about seven or eight guys in a beer shotgunning contest. Lucky for Coffee Bean I cant remember any of the contestants.