Run #513
Achtober 12, 1996

It was an ominous and familiar sounding start... two virgin hares on Whitlock Road west of Marietta. But with our most favorite Biermeistress handling duty as hare mentor, it couldn't be all bad, could it? (Don't ask MC Hasher ... who was conspicuously absent...she don't like them lonnngg Breast Stroke hashes.)

 Dubbed the "PU Hash" for reasons yet to be seen (and no, it wasn't due to all those dirty diapers from Blue Light Special & Maitre Dick's baby), the trail started out the back end of Whitlock Willow Way through a neighbor's yard, and immediately into the jungles of South America's Amazon river basin. Several of our guides were lost, either in the raging torrents or from malaria, but we pressed on nonetheless. Luckily, we were able to save the provisions.

 Once clearing the woods, we found ourselves in a nameless cemetary (since I can't find it on my map), and proceeded On-On through the neighborhoods near Bridal Bitch & Palm Bitch's house. With the usual FRB's (Back Seat Box, Bullshit, Kaptain Krash, Shiggy Pitts) leading the way, the pack then dove into the woods that lead towards Kennesaw Mountain National Battlefield Park.

 From here, the trail went hither and yon through the woods - sometimes on trails, sometimes in washed out gulleys, sometimes just, well, through the woods. Many hazards were encountered, including low flying squirrels, those pesky spider webs (and accompanying spiders), briars, vines, rabbits with pointy teeth, and Suck Her Balls, who was throwing big-ass acorns at my head.

 We then hit the real trails of the park, and of course, civilians, who were quickly overpowered and dispatched in our P.O.W. camps. After much running willy-nilly, we finally exited the park on some road, but it was still Nam dammit, and all we wanted was to go home. The trail followed roads for a bit, then into an industrial park, and the glorious BN was soon sighted.

 We entered a field, and to our amazement, encountered the !Kung bushmen of the Kalahari Desert. Friendly enough, they pointed us in the right direction, which happened to be back out of the field and On-In across the railroad tracks at Blue Light Special's office.

 As we pulled in, Breast Stroke greeted us with decorated clothespins to put on our noses, as the neighboring chemical plant reeks to high heaven. Luckily for us, the wind happened to be blowing the other way, so we didn't notice. Improvisation took over, however, with Niplets adorning his niplets with the clothespins, and Cums Collect wearing his in a strategically lower location.


Down-downs commenced once all DFLs were in, with the following dutifully honored:

 Andrea Barbian, Karen Benak, and Jay Ralls for being virginous (even though Jay claims to have hashed before...oh, about 8 years before); Redeye for new shooz; Public Screw for, get this, not knowing what PH3 stands for; BagaBlonde for his weekly renaming ... he's now FagaBlonde (we're going through the alphabet doncha know); Prissy Dick for being too-long-between; Cums Collect for finally getting his 100th run mug ... NOT; Bullshit for presenting the pseudo-mug to CC; Blue Light Special for being a Fergie Dick wannabe ... carrying her baby on her back while laying the trail; and the other two hares, Maitre Dick and Breast Stroke for being hares. Great hash and a great On-On at Jose's!

Scribe: Rat's Ass